Fake Southern Accents... Grrr!

1. Buy a book or CD on the market if you want an elaborate education in the southern accent. Otherwise, just interchanging a few of your daily words with southern choices or understanding how to draw out some syllables will get you there.
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   Use "y'all" every chance you get. This is appropriate in referring to a single person or a group of people. Never say "going to" again but insert "fixin to" and you will already seem like a pro.
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   Stop differentiating the "e" and the "i" in a word. If you're doing it right, then someone should wonder whether you're wanting to sew or write when you ask for a "pen."
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   Take words and add some syllables. "Why" should be "waa" and then "eye." The word "nail" should be "nay" and then "eel."
5. 5
   Take two syllable words and shorten them to one, like change the "tar" (tire) on the car.
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   Perfect a small vocabulary. Purdy, reckon, awfullest, gol darned, critter and breetches, and tarnation are all a good place to start.

Read more: How to Talk With a Southern Accent | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2121639_talk-southern-accent.html#ixzz150Vv9nNG

 

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Start by working on the pronunciation of the letter “A.” You’ll need to rethink the short sound of that particular vowel in certain instances, trading it in for the long sound. The long sound of “A” sometimes comes out sounding like a long “I” sound. People who would like a second helping might say they would “pie (pay) for another plite (plate).”

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Next tackle the short “E” sound which, while remaining the same in some instances, changes to what almost sounds like one or two syllables starting with an “ay” sound. “Egg” becomes “ayugg” while “pen” becomes “payun” and “red” becomes “rayud.”

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Pronounce the letter “I” followed by an “R” as if it were written “ar” in some words. For example: “That car far started in a tar.” (That car fire started in a tire.) Notice that the short sound of the letter “I” often sounds as if it has two syllables.

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Leave the “R” off most words with an “or” combination and, instead, use a one to two syllable “o-uh” sound. For example: “That sto-uh is near the seasho-uh” (That store is near the seashore).

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Throw in some expressions and phrases perceived to be Southern in origin. For example, if you drop a bowl of nuts, say that they went “everwhichaways” and add that you found that “aggervatin.” Here are a couple other good ones: “If you can't run with the big dogs, stay under the porch” and “I'm hungry enough to eat the south end of a north bound skunk.”

Read more: How to Fake a Southern Accent | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4481184_fake-southern-accent.html#ixzz150Z2fqJl

 

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SURPRISING CONVERSATIONS...

"Butter my butt, and call me a biscuit!" It's a clear way to say you are knocked out of your britches with a new tidbit of knowledge.

"It made me as ill as a hornet." You were so mad, you just didn't know what to do.

"If that don't put pepper in the gumbo."

"Well, slap my head and call me silly."

"Tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam."

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WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY AND CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE

"Bless her/his heart."

"Do tell."

"My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull."

"I do declare."

"Well, shut my mouth."

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IN DEATH

"She's resting in peace in the marble orchard." (You can add "Bless her heart.")

"He's fixin' to meet his Maker."

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STUPID, UGLY AND CLUMSY PEOPLE (there must be a lot around here because there are many ways to imply such things) Since we don't usually call people stupid, ugly and clumsy - follow each of these phrases with, "Bless his/her heart"

"He looks like something the dog's been keeping under the porch."

"She's so ugly, she could haunt a house."

"He's acting crazier than a sprayed roach."

"She's two sandwiches shy of a good picnic."

"If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose."

"He's as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand."

"She needs some fries to go with that shake."

"Like a bump on the log."

Read more: How to Use Southern Phrases in Conversation | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4526800_use-southern-phrases-conversation.html#ixzz150Z9gMJz

 

Okay so I found these articles on talking like a Southerner and I'm like WTH? (The H means Heck) I don't curse. Lmbo! Anyways, yeah, these are insane. Especially the last one "How to use Southern Prhases In A Conversation". If I ever said "Butter my butt and call it a biscuit!" Please feel welcome to slap me. Sorry these made me lol. Yeah, we say y'all, and fixing, and we pronounce stuff different but those phrases are crazy. These were obviously made by Northerners. Those darn Yankees! (:

 

Lol. This made me laugh. I hate fake Southern accents, they make my skin crawl. I'm going to tell my ex-boyfriend,

"You look like something the dog's kept under the porch!"

 

Just kidding (:

 

Love y'all,

KEELY RAE